Yeah i am not going to be homeless

It was close, but the vote is in and Curry is signed!!!
im going to be michelles neighbor living at 209 curry yeah!!!
and the place is like $200 cheeper than Joes place, yeah!!!!
and i won't have to yell at joe for being a dick anymore, yeah!!


so dani's car tried to commit suicide, luckily it wasn't very sucessful, she's in therapy

wish id made friends with the stupid boys downstairs sooner, they are still stupid, but at least SUV boy is nice (and maybe a little less stupid than the others). He helped stop danis car from going over the edge...well actually he just opened a valve i couldn't open cause of this stupid srpained wrist.

cocoa likes going for walks, but d is a little crazy about letting her out... i think she is an over protective step-mummy.

work>.,.

okay...im procrastinating again.

burnt out

talk about it...

i am feeling these april blues. but i saw today the magnolias are getting ready to burst (huzzah). so i read at this concert a few nights ago, i was like, the between sets entertainment... only problem was it was a white-punk-rock-metal concert and most of my work speaks to a black-rap-enpowerment-anti-white establishment audience..so i felt a bit alienating...but the audience received it well.

it was pretty intense cause i couldn't hear myself (being both deaf from the music and having speaker infront of me and not behind me) and i couldn't see too well, but non the less it was exciting work.

i think that im going to start reading to the world on a regular basis.

maybe if we move into a place with a balcony i will do performances from my balcony. ooo that would be fun.

okay so i have to write a paper, but i just made a comment on one of my classnotes boards to which a rebuttle post as added "Maryszka, your post was as eloquent as you are beautiful" so i figure i don't need to write the paper, with a fan base like that.

also Chuck (well charles, apparently he doesn't like chuck...but i think chuck is the best way to call a charles but anyway) want's lunch...so does Dom.... i should start taking up these lunch, which would be cool if...well lets not get personal but there is involved conversations that should be had.

so shadow quite rugby. and kyle broke his leg...or at least it looked like he did, but the doc says its not broken, it just doesn't work. and im in trouble cause im not doing my job as club PR person.

okay bye

ps dani is addicted to video games

how high the moon

wow. what a month an a lot.

Okay on tap:

• edited a book for CRW
• wrote 3 A papers and 1 B paper
• wrote lots of interesting nothings that i don't really care about too much
• helped Michelle win VPA huzzah
• joined the muslim students assoc
• quit the muslim student assoc (i was a rotten muslim anyway)
• nursed cocoa back to health (no more puking kitty)
• wrote a play about a dead beat and a dead man
• read more than i have read in my life
• made over 1000 phone calls in one week
• spoke with every perspective creative writing student for the Univeristy of Windsor
• resolved to spend more time at funeral homes to help with apathy
• laughed at an italian funeral (big no no!!!)
• decided apathy towards the dead isn't so bad, so i shouldn't go to other peoples funerals
• started smoking
• quit smoking
• realized i never smoked it was just a prank danielle played filling my bags with empty cigarette packages
• resolved one day to cover and entire bar table with cigarette foil (if the waitress is as bad as the ones at the thirsty scolar)
• lost 10 lbs
• gained 8 lbs
• lost another 5 lbs
• gained anther 7 lbs
• resolved that i have an unstable weight and not to worry about it any longer
• walked a dog
• slept on the coach (im never throwing that couch out !!!)
• did alot of nonsence

and probably some other things too.

hilife

mm procrastination is may favourite game,.,,, and so is zuma... okay yea mum congrats on the new car. okay yea roo congrats on handing in one assignment... okay congrat danielle for finding stinky the snail, okay congrats roo again for getting some new muscles, okay congrat michelle for getting over the flu. yea. congrats roo for rsvping to the better half ball, now u need a better half to take. mmm okay yea i wish it was next week. mmm okay maybe not. i have to write creatively...ten pages due monday. mmm i need some juices, maybe ill go to the flying monkey for juice. okay im going to go work on essays. mm yupper

any ideas for houseing? i could use some.

i think i want to live in a hotel

Fight of Flight

Emandleni Camp
home of ten thousand champs
of men of boys of soldiers
ready to fight for what Inkatha told you
train your mind, train
your position in this fight
for your homeland
Bantu stand for language rights
Fight the Afrikaaner way of life

Emandleni Camp
formed out of necessity
an army of youth, this thoughts absurd to me
to retell the sharp sting
your invaders bring
they have no historic stakes
they feel no pain for what lives the waste
they have diamonds in their eyes
and they know it is not wise
to share
the fruit this land bares
with

Boys at camp
it is not your fight
even now you have no rights
a decade since and
still your land is not yours
And still your freedom is not given
And still you are restricted by the colour of your skin

Emandleni Camp
excise the poison of your land
but you can
not do it by force
you must coheres
educate your young black mind
For black is beautiful
it is strong
it is infinite
and Emandleni camp will have no strength of arms
its strength
will be
in minds.

sorry world

okay im a little scared. just now. actually, im really scared just now, torn by belief in childhood surity and popular culture/knowledge. Sister Lucy died yesterday. that means nothing to anyone, unless they know of the aspirations of Fatima in 1917. gaaa. and now i hear HIV has mutated into a Mirical strain. im scared. what can you do tho? the sun is shining today, its hazy, but the sun is still shining. JP2 is out of hospital, but for how long? is he dying, and who is this American who said mass in his place last tuesday? im properly scared.

Ill probably get over it though.

Hello

Hello java, does anyone know jave script. i wish i did, i have a plot but it needs knowledge i don't have and im told java is the answer? any takers?

snuff

my back hurts.

i played in the snow (14 inches of powder) yesterday. it wasso mucho fun. d and i made a giant mountain and did back flips into it. and then shoveld lots. then the red boy came and said he'd hlep so i got him a shovel, but i don't think red boy likes the snow very much so he left. then d was cold so we went it.. besides we had to see if the washing machine was still broken, but it wasn't so we did laundry. but we had to put the laundry lines back up so i had to play with tha hammer. then later we watched metro which was really terrible but quite enjoyable.

im going crazy

and i have decided it is impossible to exist in bianaries so im playing on the sliding scale of life. even my weight is a sliding scale. i wonder if an unstable weight is a sign of some malady, but i know i weigh between 136 and 156 fluxing that much in three days... you'd think with my regualr exercise and currently amazing diet such flux wouldn't exist...but it does which is why i have given up on bianaries. i also no longer believe in being asleep or awake but in the happy gradient of slewakeness. i had the same dream last all day and night every tme id wake it was just on pause for the next moment of sleppingness. mehpish.

also today i read a lot of p[lato, he was a liar if i ever read one, and people keep telling me its bad to lie and i shouldn't but all the best people did. (well plato and dilworth...and pender. and also me)

okay bye


ps smurf aint doing to good

poor ghanga smurf

emanual had a stroke sunday. and bipass surgery last evening. he can't feel his face or most of his skin. he can't barely speak.

don't starve yourself. ghanga smurf thought food unholy. "yaw., i won't put that shit in my body" when he was rushed into emerge sunday night he weight 76 lbs. 5'2. rest now manny. recover. rethink you're strategy. food is life. and though much of it may be unholy, much, not all.

recover soon, my brother. with speed i hope you will walk and move again. i hope you will still think and beable to cognize you thoughts into speach. but rest well little man. for now.

ps

k is my favorite letter because its soo funny, honey. and f is my next favourite letter because is soo crazy and lazy.

bookish terms

gaaah, if i could read anymore i think i should... forget life, who needs it, i'll just read all the time, come on world show me what you've got...oh good a book...bring it on!!!

a poem? a short story you say, no...perhaps a long discourse on the use of writing or on who good and bad are the same thing! poppycock i say, ill read you all and be the better for it, Book!! im ready for you.


and im also going a little nuts

yea im a llama again

back to windsor in true m style. i don't think we could have fitted anything else in the car. we had, my school bag and a box for d, then m suit case, laudry basket, 20 pairs of shoes ( i kid you not) a computer all her presents in bags her black lab (who is a huge dog, could rival a bull mastiff in size) and my cat in a carrier box. it was sooooooo packed. and cocoa (the cat) was not happy to be in a box so i had to open it, but apparently she wasn't interested in getting to know the puppy. luckily the puppy wasn't to clever and didn't notice her the entire 4 hours in the car. meh. its was a good trip and im glad to be back in the W. even if the boys down stairs think its appropriate to deficate on my snowman villiage. i'll keep building them and if they do it again i'll press charges for distruction of private property... i think i can do that even though they live there too. its like if i was to smash in their windshield... or break all their christmas lights and banners in the garage and pee on their couches or hammock.... well anyway. there is soooo much snow here, except aparently plowing residential streets isn't an in thing here, so it can be difficult to negociate. anyway time to streatch im sore.

tsunami

something very sneeky nearly happened today and i was nearly forced into a position that i didn't want to be in, but fortunately i outsnuck it and got away without giving away a cent (or point if you want to be technical)

so heres the story: i went to get darling cocoa a carrying case this evening to carry her around in (not a purse...with absorbant liner, but a propper case) and some other essentials too, and when i got up to the cash to pay the lady said to me would you like to donate your point (it being zellers) well i said no thankyou very much and didn't donate any points to the relief effort.

and so i have made it another day without beaking my new years resolution.

oh yeah, i feel good.

im read to leave.... im waiting for a taxi...or m (actually m is better)

jsandme

hmm.
imissmissj. i forget and think sometimes that she'snnot worth it, but then i see her and feel like an ass for thinking it. its true. but i guess unimportant .

so we went to the ab then i met the partner who's about as empty as a balloon. inflated or otherwise. i don't like him, and im still debating why, but i think its a representative thing, that is mostly me projecting assholeishly on him...oh well. he was rude so i dont mind.

this bothers me. but omg, i made the most incredible connections going home...the york bus took 7 minutes of so to arrive, but every other bus, subway street car was right there, and i was home by 1:40...it took just over an hour to make the whole journey. not to mention no one else was on any of my busses train streetcars so they didn't stop...ah the red rocket, how effeciently wonderful you are. i ran into a boy who knew my father tho, daniel, says we went to school together to, but i don't count pat's anylonger that place was just a transition house. le sigh. he made me remeber things i was happily repressing, but what can one do... not much.maybe i could try and find c's mum and send her flowers this year... cause then ill be that much poorer.... right.

bd s

just watched the boondoch saints. wow. im pretty much in heaven right now. it was incredible. and i think all should run to the video store right now, take out that little card with your parents name and address and walk down the nirvana films aisle and select it off the shelf, rush it home and watch it because it will change you're fucking life. you cannot watch with out becoming and active participant, you can't be apathetic or bored or distracted. it sucks you in mind and body. wow. this is almost as good as an orgasm. fuck. my mind is blown away. i need to go and write a little.

and you know its not even about the morality of the story or the triumph of evil or good or what ever the fuck. its just real. every character is the good guy and the bad guy and you want everyone to both suceed and fail at the same time, and when either go either way its tormenting failure and disappointment while at the same time blissful gratification. geeze. how can that be? hmm i definately need to go write...but where. shops are gonna be closed.

damn this city. i need home. i need a home. and no more lie. i need out of these lies. but i like them...not really i just am them. i think. or i want to be them.

i think i need to think. yes... okay im going to stop this shit now. ill go.
bye

thok

mmm congratulations all...

mmm me big looser. well im happy, but maybe the world thinks hiding under ones bed is looserish.
so what if you thought you''d been in a train acident, and had a huge adventre and then it turns out you were... i guess you would be one of the sevene then. next on the list, the hobbit, and then watership down, i needs to find. im very excited to go back, i want to go with d, back to her place, then to home, but i don't think that would go over with anyone...grrr.

i made lovely chicken for dinner...witha little help from a friend and sister. mm so here's the plan. play today die tomorrow, and forget about the mess.

sorry. if you'll miss me, don't busy yourself.

okay theres the new plan. play today, and tomorrow go to the train station. and tonite go to the club. and tomorrow read and sew cause j leaves too, back across the herring pool he goes.

this is too much gibberish

c's'h

shit. most technocolour uber lucid dreaming going on, in troubling ways. 

i was watching myself through most of it. living in this commune with a kid, s-kid. then i was going to the theatre, well to a pub to meet s to go to the theatre, and i was uber late, and chatting with c...the ghost all the way. so i get to the pub and s and i head off to the theatre and find a seat. i sit, then d arrives so he goes and sits with another woman but there was a huge kerfuffle, and then something bad happened, we got tossed out of the building and were free falling. then i caught him and started flying. 

 d arrived last night. im worried i won't make it till april, more importantly im worried she wont. shit

birds

okay frued gimme a sigh here, whats up with the birds. falcons, kestrals full colour. those red winged finchy things. i just dreamt the most amazing dream about birds, everywhere, following me. i think they were accusing me of lying. i lived in a fabolous flat with 5000 lamps, but it was always dim. hmm dimmed/ repressed senses...hmm? the dimunition of sight...knowledge. i think im repressing something... and somehow birds of lizards or horses are in volved cause i think all those creatures represent the same things...dogs too. hmm

do i feel unloyal...ooo maybe thats it. well im dreaming crazy crazy lucid vivid things that i can't account to the day experience...unless its from reading...hmm could be.

well have to let this mystery unfold

sneiboarding huzzah

took the cousin snowboarding today, i love the stuff its made of, namely speed, snow, pain and mmm i douynno standing in lines. anuy who grand fun, i think i'll go again this holiday break. all my nail polish has come off, it seems like a trial thing to say, and it is. but i has, so i have to take it off properly now. i think im going to go out, or not, iduuno.

did i mention about the school reunion, not mine, m's. great fun they're all 25-6 and in the working world , and unbelievably beautiful, it was like the oc in port credit. but anyway, i met all her chums and all the infamous people from her stories which was nice. and met all the babies in her life too, tho not at the school reunion, i met them before hand at her family open house.

this is a very boring entry im sure i'll never read it for its like of exciting stories so im going to stop here.

pink pajamas

thats right, pink and im wearing them. oh yea!

played with the Canon Rebel yesterday..i think im in love, i have a long term goal in life, and it involves that camera... 6 years to go.
played in the snow, but aparently the waterworks is all anti social and moah you can't play here kids so we just ran around it and had fun with out the stinkin waterworks.

i seem to wake up earlier and earlier but thats cool (little sis doesn't agree) i can read... the borrowers. yea. i have to finish it so i can start watership down tomorrow, and seriously read read read.

mm d is coming soon, yeah!!! and im going to an italian open house today to se m, yeah!!!! and s is back with a vengence, mybe tomorrow we celebrate...oh no tomorrow we snowboard. maybe later then... le sigh.

i think im going to go shoping this morning.
peace out, bunnys