long sort of silence

its been a while blog. don't worry i haven't forgot about you. I've been ill. of course what else would i be? really, let's consider... i suppose i could have been on a grand adventure, or perhaps have been busy working on a new play or reading a terrible book called Heroine by gail scott...okay its not that bad. its not that interesting...its kind of cliche, but perhaps a bit novel (well it is a novel, but i mean okay im sure you get it)

So i want to go to toronto. Hippy birfde custodian

What is PDT

i think its a time zone, but i haven't a clue which one. i hope it isn't soon. 

OKay. this is going to be a probably blasphemous post, on account of my general ignorance of faith/the faith/things of this nature. It may also be offensive because i am challenging the practices of christians in my life and their practices of faith. 

 problem number one: faithful person X has their msn name "speak lord your servant is listening" i think this is problematic, one because since when does a servant command their master, and two since when is "the lord" anyone's master. What does that mean...to be the master of something? it carries with it connotations of power relations, one who can enact a position of power over another; also it suggests that there is perhaps some sort of debt, or that a master is one with superior (skill/power/intellect) which merits their higher placement in some sort of hierarchy. So why do we make ourselves servants to "the lord"? is servant the right word; i thought the christian god asks for obedience not service. I mean what service to 'him' could we presume to do, that 'he' has not made us capable of, if that is the case isn't it just humble obedience to what good we were created for that we should be acting, rather than command 'him' to direct us as servant pawns? 

 i dunno, i hear too many people claiming their beliefs not as gifts, for which they are humbly thankful, but rather as a reason for their action in the world. which is a problematic and possibly dangerous position...is it not?

little folly

i said to myself this morning, i won't take my book to work because i don't need to carry the extra weight (my back being tight because of the shoulder injury sustained at the Pillon's stepgrandparent party...long story nevermind) and now im sitting in the office thinking, mhmm maybe i should go home cause i have nothing to do, but i'm sure there are still things that need doing, but the big boss aint here. ho hum.

So its all fairweather i suppose.

driving to windsor

i meant to post this, this is the storm we drove into on our way back to Windsor, Sunday. it was freaking amazing. and then really scary so we pulled over and waited it out. (shame it was the mac-d's stop so there wasn't good food...yick)We were of course in Toronto to watch Seb play against the Argos. BC won (huzzah) and Seb got to play free safety at the end of the game. Plus, he had an amazing game, there was almost more special teams play that regular play, so that was sweet. Plus, he had the first hit of the game (huzzah). It was really good. We also went to the st. Lawrence market, by bike/rollerblade. i was impressed since its about a 25 km round trip, and I'm sure that certain windsorites are incapable of understanding not driving such a distance, but we did good. plus we swam at the Olympic pool. i hope wherever i am next has places to swim, i really miss it.

Funny Story

Okay, so im still very worried, but i think that best way to deal with my worry is by chewing bubblegum. Wouldn't it be funny if whenever you were mad about something you did a google image search for the word "mad" with the filter on super high and then used one of the images that come up (which are usually things like pictures of peoples pets called mad, or flora and fauna from magagascar, or people walking on mountains or wearing funny hats) and then printed it off, and when people asked you what was the matter you would show them the picture. Then they would look at you with that look of half fear that you are insane and half confusion, which of course considering your frame of mind you will mistake for a look of empathy and you'll say "i know, look at it! but i suppose its not as bad as the chimpanze grudge i had last week!"

i wonder if that would work with terrorists?



i still don't know what a terrorist is.

A break

To bring a little balance back to this blog. This man reminds me of Moby. Ah, some settling music.

In the Video Vault at the link below, select the G section, then scroll down to Gnarls Barkley the video is called Crazy. (i suppose you probably know that already, and already know all about barkley, and infact he went out of fashion 6 days ago, but im only just getting with the times, and i say this is sweet... i suppose it only further shows that i don't have tv either...you must have seen the video on the countdown and out a thousand times already...gaah)

i must be dumb

Israel has declared it is ready to fight Hezbollah guerrillas for several more weeks, raising doubts about international efforts to broker an immediate ceasefire.

"It will take us time to destroy what is left," Brig. Gen. Alon Friedman said Wednesday.

His announcement came as Israeli ground troops clashed with Hezbollah guerrillas as they crossed the border in search of tunnels and weapons

Full Article

How can we say that Isreal is making a measured response? When Brigadeer General Friedman makes comments like "it will take us time to destroy what is left"?

How can Harper insist that Hezbollah and Hamas should return their three captives in the intention to end violence against their nations, when those in control of the Isreali army are making such comments? Harper, do you really think that the return of those soldiers will do anything to end the violence? Isreal is thrashed Lebanon, its heart, culture, soul and people.

Maybe I'm just dumb

Maybe I'm just incapable of thinking about the state of affairs inthe middle east. I mean, I don't know a lot about the history, or current escalating events that led to this, what seems to me, insanity. It is more than possible that i don't have suffient tools to understand what is happening, because of my own biases against foreign occupation, and against aggression towards neighbours, and against annonymous weapons (that is satelite weapons where the operator has no capabilty of knowing who or what he is hitting).

I was just reading this however in the Windsor star (i think it comes from the ottawa citizen however)

Blanchfield, Mike. "Harper Blames Hezbollah" Canwest News Service July 18, 2006

The G-8 summit was dominated by the Middle East crisis, ending Monday with an urgent call by British Prime Minister Tony Blair and visiting United Nations Secretary General Kofi Annan for an international peacekeeping force for the region.

Chirac demanded swift action to bring about a ceasefire in the escalating hostilities that saw the death toll climb to more than 200, most in Lebanon.

Harper rejected the call, as did the United States, saying that his interpretation of the G-8's position was for Hezbollah and Hamas to first release the three Israeli soldiers they are holding and to stop shelling Israel.

Let me see what is upsetting me about this article. I think it is the second paragraph where it says that these agressions have lead to more than 200 casualties (between the two nations) and yet Harper is rejecting the call for peacekeeping (that i agree with, because the Canadian Military is no longer a peacekeeping force but an occupative agressive military, go figure) BUT he seems to think that if hamas and hezbollah release these three military pions that all this will end and the war will be over.

Isn't that beyond naive? Like anyone who would unforgivingly allow for the death of 200 humans would be completely calmed by the return of three pion soldiers who weren't clever enough not to get captured in the first place. I wouldn't be surprised if upon return they were executed for being crappy soldiers (okay im just promoting hate and bias here, ignor that last sentence). The point is...hmm i guess i feel that harper (and really the Canadian Government and Canadian people) is too guilty for current actions by Canadians around the world to do aanything constructive without first recognizing, acknolwedging and changing our current international practices and positions.

Sigh. I worry for my little (superlarge) country. i hope we make it through this, i would really like to get to be a doctor.

Homesickness

Today's headline on the Toronto Star reads DEATH IN LEBANON with a superheadding (that is a caption over top of the headline) "it's as though a bomb hit Montreal." These headlines are about 7 montrealers who were killed in the current Isreali assult against Hezbollah in Lebanon. A friend of mine just contacted me because he is afraid for his grandmother who just returned to lebanon a week and bit ago. I didn't know really how to respond to his fears, but I am just now working on one of the chapters for a forthcoming a book on Youth identity that focuses greatly on immigrant, and african immigrant youth. I asked my friend why his grandmother returned surely she knew of the coming assualt. And he said something about returning to her homeland. Isn't that something, in this world of compounded and complex migration where almost any citizen of any country can move and live in many different nations throughout the course of their lives, there is a special kind of 'returning' to the point of origin. I wonder as immigration/emmigration become a more normative in life history, and as global conflict and the destruction of cultures becomes more common if this sense of urgency to return to the places we know and grew up with will deepen. Or has this always been the case, we want home, but move nations because we want an easier life (without oppression, with good jobs and education, with the freedom to make our own homes); and yet, when the prospect of watching our first homes dying is made real to us, we want nothing more that to return to that place of conflict and strife. hmm. i will have to read Hardwick. *** appended July 18 and another thing My cousin was recently telling me about his newfound love and respect for St lucia after visiting his "homeland" that was never his in the first place. It was his first trip there, and it is hardly even an ancestral home for us given our colonial heritage, and yet that desire for homeland was/is so strong for him, that he would desire and adopt that little island as his own. hmm.

Pending storm

Its about to thunderstorm so i need to high tail it, but first a quandry.

What is a terrorist?
meditate tonite

Toronto

i managed to make it to toronto. God job eh, man that was hard. But uh oh, i went to the Mac Medical open house, man that was super tempting. man, i'm talking...tempting. yikes. I just don't know what to do with myself at this point. Well, who am i kidding yes i do, continue on the course, graded back and graded back and graded back from knowledge gained but never lost at i run down mud tracks. Look at you. So i'm going back to windsor today, to get back to the business of waiting. i have to send my brothers care package still. i think i might send something like a survival kit. We will see. Tristan played on defense for Sask last night, man it was super exciting. They lost though, 53-36 i think...yeah they got spanked. Well i had a campfire last night. ooo, campfire on my beach, so good. so sweet. yum! it was firey. okay going to go eat or sleep.

hermit

maybe i will just go home now.

well thursday. by way of hamilton and not come back till sunday night
i will see if i can't find a driver today. i don't think it will work at the end of the month.

i hate this mess.

Critical Mass

Wow, that was super cool. i'm sold for life. Okay so the next critical mass is Friday July (fuck...of course) July, 28th 2006 meeting at 5:45 at city hall (charles clarke square it might be called, at just east of goyeua on University or park or chatham or one of those ... i think its university. Bring your bike (make sure to have a mounted bell and lights (me too). and we bike around the city blockading against traffic (its wonderful! go team cyclists for a safer city). Anyway. its super fun, and I'll be talking about it all month (except i just realized i told my mum i might come home for my dads birthday, which would mean missing the July 28th mass. fuckers. i'll have to plot this one.

foiled

piss and vinegar the seminar in can lit is the same time as philosphy of education. baah!

what a thursday

i had a lot of trouble writing thursday in the title of this post so you better appreciate my effort...that's better.

So let me tell you about this crazy day (and its only 6:45 yikes so much still to do). So it started with an early morning bike home after a post fireworks sleepover (i didn't go to the fireworks...it was too noisy and there were dogs and kids everywhere...but no hills or beach it was too much like home without being home) Then i had breakfast (go me) and cleaned house (how does it get to be such a mess, its just me living there...hmm) then remembered that i had to finish stapling 'a lotta nerve' the CMHA chapbook that my writing group made. So i hightailed it into the office to do some stapling. Then i had to do work (as i was at the office) find a couple articles, finish updating a cv, mail off a manuscript. Before hightailing it back across town to the CMHA for the writing group at 11. I of course didn't plan any work, cause i gave them homework, but none of them did it so i sat there more or less with egg on my face. then one of my authors decided that he likes cliche so he's only going to write in it. [ps don't forget to find some examples of good cliche and bad cliche and talk about why each is good and bad]. After two hours of talking about not much and taking pills i headed home for lunch. I nearly caused and irate driver to get t-boned as he pulled a left hand turn across Giles without looking to see if there was approaching traffic because he was too busy yelling at me for being on the road. (ps there was approaching traffic, and that nearly ended very badly for both of us). Then i continued my ride home for lunch. Had spicy pasta which made me feel bloated (i don't think pasta is going to stay in my diet for much longer, it always makes me feel ill) so i read 50 pages of Dune (a new one). Then i went to campus to do some homework, but ran into danielle, so we chatted, then went to the mall. At the mall she tried on clothes (and bought some without a single fight....amazing) then looked at hmm oh yea zellers for chocolate (for me) and bandaids (for her) then she dropped me off at Chez's to learn about this summer camp which looks/sounds totally wicked, i think im going to go at least for now, im going to do the fundraising at least. Then we started talking about the Critical Mass tomorrow (im super stoaked) which is a cyclists taking over the road party downtown. i'm loving it. then about the millitary coop. now i just dont know how i feel about this. basically highschool kids can now take a paid millitary co-op, in which they receive basic training and join the reserves. hmm. basic training, awesome, learn physical, emotional, mental discipline i think this should be a core part of every curriculum. i know it should be. but join the reserves? i dunno. really its all a part of Harper's ploy to grow the military reserves by 10,000 men (women) and the standing army by 13,000. But this isn't suggested in the rhetoric for this new co-op program, just that kids will be paid (unlike all other co-ops) and be offered summer jobs with the army reserves. hmm. i have to learn more still. but this is a good site if you are curious.
www.geocities.com/coop4peace (ill make it a reall link soon...i have to go remember how)

and then i biked back to campus to continue working on my various things that needed work. now im blogging. soon i'll get into my emails (i have to invite all of you to the critical mass). then i have a bit of portfolio work to do, i hope. then back home for dinner prolly around 8. then more reading and around 12:30 to big dicks to celebrate Carol's birthday and find out how the game went today. then home. then tomorrow morning i think laundry and more reading. fun fun! then tomorrow evening is the critical mass. saturday is CANADA DAY (oh i lov you Canada). Then Sunday a bottle drive.

(and i wonder how my life get so full i can barely stand it... huh.)

okay time to go start some other stuff.
coop4peace

Portfolio season

I have to go buy some books (boo) i don't want to buy them, but i think i have to read them this weekend. *sigh* i don't think i am going to be able to go to the game tomorrow after all. Cause stupid campus is close on friday so i won't be able to work friday. and its a long weekend so i have to get extra stuff done in advance for next week. grr.

i wonder how the ethics are coming. hmm.

i had a super cranky day yesterday so i went home and wrote about it. a lot of bad poetry. that i will probably put in my portfolio. They have a new teacher coming in to teach the 498. im a little scared. i don't like new things. i have to be m ore diligent this year. the last two years i didn't really have to worry about the folio. but i dunno. I think that its a woman though. Markotic. Possibly Nichole. (my favourite name right now) I googled markotic and Nichole and Lorraine came up, but Nichole is a "canadian poet" like the rest of us, so i think it could be her. Maybe i will get one of her books too, just to get a feel for...of course Anne Walker was fabulous and she was new. i wonder why we are all so afraid of new things. but im a little bit coniving and i might take her seminar class too...just so i can get extra time in (you know). i like to know my teachers, and one class isn't enough to know someone. Besides if i use pender marty and karl for the rhodes im going to need someone new for other scholarships.

okay. i should work so that maybe i will be able to go to the game tomorrow.

Cheers Bears.

Happy Birthday Rocket

Not that it was the rockets birthday, or my birthday or a birthday of anyone or thing affiliated with us but on saturday it proved that enough was enough and I took The Rocket into the shop to get a brand new cassette and chain. and let me tell you how fricking fast he is now. Like real rocket. Zoom zoom.

oh an unrelated topic. i had super tasty steak yesterday, and i'm so glad because i was jonesing for some red meat.

Redundancy

Lets talk about the positive effects of negativity...hmm well i think that negativity helps keep away irratating people who might try to be overly positive. I mean if your super negative even people with genuinely heartfelt empty words of praise will eventually back off. I suppose that negativity helps prepare you for death...or illness...or papercuts. if your super negative about stuff all the time then even a papercut will be predictable and perhaps not as bad...

what are you talking about (in the immortal words of Edna Mode) ! Negativity is useless. always. always. Why go to the length of exerting the energy it takes to say, no not only say but post as you MSN name that you hate your body...what is that accomplishing...ooo. self pity (i just got that one) right. i suppose that demonstrating the apparent negativity towards yourself would have others turn to you and try to build you up..."come now your body isn't that bad..." or "we at least you can still drink..." hmm

i feel like wasting time. oh...i quit my job today. i didn't want to. but i dunno, it wasn't worth my time or energy i dont think. I'll have to email marty and let him know. gah. maybe thats why i feel all lost. hmm

buh bye miss jack. have a blast in BC

The evolution of dance

This one is for Miss Boghean

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg

This is kind of amazing

http://newcomicreviews.com/unsorted/16/1150248355960.gif