Happy Fakemas

Well for all of you out there celebrating Christmas this year, have a good one and put on a little speed for those of us whose families unilaterally converted to another end of December celebration without notice or other such warnings. 

Thats right, this year the Clovis's are celebrating fakemas. Much like its commertial counterpart which celebrates the birth of Santa with icon like the Christmas tree, candy canes, stockings and tinsel, gift giving and general grinch-free activities (such as visiting friends and family) Fakemass too has certain iconic traditions. The first and probably most important is the replacement of the tree with a lamppost...year a Fakemas lamppost which is strung with lights, chocolates and a stolen sombrero that reads Viva Mexico. The lamppost is lit for only an hour a day because of its Fakemas cheer (and the fact that it is mounted with a straw hat) it is an extreme fire hazard to illuminate it for much longer. Of course the 27 years of Christmas tree decorations are not just left in the box this year, they have been hung from the fake ceiling to act as things to hit our heads on...should we need something for hitting a head on this Fakemas Season. (For those of you unfamiliar with what a fake ceiling is, it is what we CLovis's have come to love, after a freak 6 month demolition accident in the spring of 2001 the ceiling of the main living room was stripped leaving onl the rathers. After 2 years of aa rafter roof, mum decided rather than finishing the reconstruction with the traditional drywall or paint she would buy a great big piece of fabric and staple it to the rafters. A great effect if you need somewhere to hang transformed Fakemas decorations) Next the crowd pleasing favorite, christmas morning stockings, hae been held hostage with the following demands, the stockings wil be safely returned once one of the five Clovis Kids procures, for the prima genertura, at least one grandchild (so im sure ou can imagine it may be a while before we see stockings hung by the fakemas lamppost). Until this time, the hostage letter read, the stockings will be relegated solely to their offseason job as rugby socks. Next, instead of the traditional visit to the great aunts for christmas dinner, we will gather round the fakemas fire (made of candles) and eat fakemas dinner at home just the seven of us (plus any other loyal fakemas celebrators...namely Jane and her mum). Finally, the best part of Fakemas, instead of family feuding or fighting, instead of the complications of worrying who got what for whom, instead of wondering whether we want to hang out or get out, we all gather for meals and talk and chat and banter about all the things in the world (except paris hilton) that are worth discussing. From the A&E program on home renovation that promoted not getting building liscences, drinking and shooting at things with rifles, and drinking and driving, to the woman who gave birth to tripets from her two wombs (what thats crazy...i know) to the best ways to introduce waste management reforms across Canada, topics for discussion are usually humours and heartily enjoyed. So enjoy your Christmases and I suppose I'll have to take my Fakemas this year. The beginning of the new traditions. All the best Miss Clovis