mmmonday...again

hmm mondays are very interesting to me...well by that of course i mean to say...seb has surgery today...goodluck; kyle has a birthday today...happy birthday; i have to finish dani's present today...could be useful

i think that i will draw something.. no lets be honest, i'll work on the design for the dress.

xox

today is friday

is anyone ready to FREAK OUT, talk about free floating unidentified anxiety. my goodness, i go to sleep worrying, i wake up worrying, i go to work for bike rides and runs and all i do is just worry about stuff.

le sigh

okay, so i ran lots yesterday, and only my mcl regoin hurts today...i dunno i suppose thats pretty good. there's no deep pain or swelling. maybe ill just not have surgery...although waiting 13 months for surgery is kind of like not having srgery anyway. so maybe ill go for the provincial squad this spring, why not? i could get really hurt then and get emergency surgery. oh frabjuous day.

im back in my program. what luck, hey, Marty is teaching though so i guess i was a little bit a shoe in. but then we think the same nd write a lot alike so thats voondervel. oh i have to go do an interview. i hope it goes well.

kite

Surgeon for hire

So anyone with any information on knee surgeons interested in performing an ACL repair surgery, i have the goods on what needs to be done, but i would like it to happen before i turn 24. i am willing to give up one more season, but not three more seasons. so yea...thanks.

M

cross my heart and hope to die

yes. the rumours are true, i let someone stick a needle in my head this morning. It was completely professional there is no reason to panic. but boy do i feel much better now that the needle is out of my head.

So toronto, im coming home for a vacation. its too exhausting and i need the break. 17th-20th. Man of war. what a bloob blah day. i think im going to do some writing.

b thok

what a horrible place, where words are so powerful. where to see these morphemes linked together have such lustful movement in our deepest soles. where the strongest little urchin can be crushed by a fragment of a misdirected thought. poor thing. poor thing. and to be involved, to be informed of such crushing strength, the crushing strength of words.

crisis point again. building. is it easier to forget or to deny. is it faster to fight or lay down and die. what choice is there left to make when either choice is for defeat.

poor thing. poor thing.

this horrible place, where written words cause such disgrace.

a thok

Ive been having thinks about life and crisis and life in crisis. And about the state of things, about opinions about the way things flow and the need for more music that isn't for money. on that point i think i understand a little bit about what makes great music: its music htat just is. Some music you can listen too and just hear the dollar signs in the eyes of the writer, and its not that its bad music but really what you hear is dollar signs. Its strange because this is an idea that came to me from a long way away (gr 11 i think) when we watched that documentary about the porn star, and she said that to be a good porn star you had to really enjoy having sex, because the women who just do it for money you can see it in their eyes, its dollar signs. And i think that Miss Valentine was very right about that, and i think it translates into all things that make a person happy... ie music and dollar signs, athletes and dollar signs (e.g NFL vs CFL, NBA vs WNBA, Olympics vs IAAF world championship), teachers and dollar digns, gyms and dollar signs, politicians and dollar signs... the green motivation is devistation in the nation i watch through my sega play station, and the waves of insecurity that sweep those in positions of authority who know they inferiority to those with parrionate intent.

intent

this in an interesting motive/idea/ movement hmm... *currently listening to enya - celtic field*

anyway as i was saying about crises and life, im definately at a crisis point, to stand up and take the shot and let go of the baggage that goes with guilty or to remain obstinantly silent, emotionally sequre and carry the few extra pounds. I think i have to speak up, because maybe it will be bad and cause ruckus, but maybe it will make things better after the storm.

terrifying

i have discovered the most terrifying song ever concocted my anyone and it is "Flowers become Screens" by Enya and Enigma. I have never been more terrified while playing cards. Never. My goodness that was some crazy shit, and i hope i never play it again.

so on a completely unrelated note of being terrified, i had some accupuncture today. Yes thats right I paid someone who i could barely communicate with to puncture my skin with dozens of razor sharp needles and then i lay perfectly still and listened to classical music. Let me tell you a little story about scar tissue and accupuncture, the little needles must puncture the scar tissue...this is not a painfree process, but then again what is. No i have bits of tape all over my knee that make me smell like little old chinese women from the subway (a very comforting smell for a former frequent communter of the danforth line)

So life is lifing, i feel very in tune, but i can't quite hear the words so im a little lost (but the tune...got it with perfect pitch)

Crisis point is rapidly approaching, but thats okay cause im getting ready to ask the world for money.

bye

chug chug chug went the motor

i think the world needs a new soundtrack
and i think it should go bop bop bop went the wheels
or sing about the night in Tunisia