birds

okay frued gimme a sigh here, whats up with the birds. falcons, kestrals full colour. those red winged finchy things. i just dreamt the most amazing dream about birds, everywhere, following me. i think they were accusing me of lying. i lived in a fabolous flat with 5000 lamps, but it was always dim. hmm dimmed/ repressed senses...hmm? the dimunition of sight...knowledge. i think im repressing something... and somehow birds of lizards or horses are in volved cause i think all those creatures represent the same things...dogs too. hmm

do i feel unloyal...ooo maybe thats it. well im dreaming crazy crazy lucid vivid things that i can't account to the day experience...unless its from reading...hmm could be.

well have to let this mystery unfold

sneiboarding huzzah

took the cousin snowboarding today, i love the stuff its made of, namely speed, snow, pain and mmm i douynno standing in lines. anuy who grand fun, i think i'll go again this holiday break. all my nail polish has come off, it seems like a trial thing to say, and it is. but i has, so i have to take it off properly now. i think im going to go out, or not, iduuno.

did i mention about the school reunion, not mine, m's. great fun they're all 25-6 and in the working world , and unbelievably beautiful, it was like the oc in port credit. but anyway, i met all her chums and all the infamous people from her stories which was nice. and met all the babies in her life too, tho not at the school reunion, i met them before hand at her family open house.

this is a very boring entry im sure i'll never read it for its like of exciting stories so im going to stop here.

pink pajamas

thats right, pink and im wearing them. oh yea!

played with the Canon Rebel yesterday..i think im in love, i have a long term goal in life, and it involves that camera... 6 years to go.
played in the snow, but aparently the waterworks is all anti social and moah you can't play here kids so we just ran around it and had fun with out the stinkin waterworks.

i seem to wake up earlier and earlier but thats cool (little sis doesn't agree) i can read... the borrowers. yea. i have to finish it so i can start watership down tomorrow, and seriously read read read.

mm d is coming soon, yeah!!! and im going to an italian open house today to se m, yeah!!!! and s is back with a vengence, mybe tomorrow we celebrate...oh no tomorrow we snowboard. maybe later then... le sigh.

i think im going to go shoping this morning.
peace out, bunnys

the sneekyness of the world

sometimes i almost can't believe it. so my poppi is just plain sneaky (and i guess i was sneaky back). so while we were out shopping together last weekish, we stopped in at danier to see if they had any leather trenchcoats (my mum was interested so poppi was going to get her one) and while we were there i happened to point out a coat that i had seen on an earlier adventure that i thought was pretty shick (but that wasnt really an necessity in my life) anyway, im unwrapping yesterday and one of the first things i open is a can of suede spray (clueless me turns to my brother eldest and says, ummm yeah suede spray,,,i don't own any suede) that sneaky man went back to D when i wasn't around and bought me the jacket...omg i am loving him bigtime for the sheer sneakyness of it. (i told him i really just wanted and exercise mat) anyway, he also mentioned in passing that he needed a goos subworfer set to play music on at work so sneaky me went and picked one of those up (so you see we were both sneaky in a clovis way)

also my boss...is the most crazy lady in the world.. you'll never guess what that good christain got me ... go on guess... thats right a full pajama set with matching knickers and slippers in guess what colour...(here's a hint, its someones favourite) that right! pink!!! i have to let you all, faithful readers in on a little secret here, this is the first articles of pink i have ever owned with the exception of a pair of pink iceskate laces that my grandmother gave me for christmas in 1988. (i guess i was due)

cocoa is being odd. it think she kind of wants to go home, but d is coming soon so maybe that will cheer her up a bit. im going to get her a plant

and im going to celebrate with m today

i can be civil

mm its cold, i want to be in the shower and tc just jumped in so i have to wait, so i figure ill think about nothing for a while. Sometimes i just want to be an asshole, and not have to worry about it like that creepy guy in that film with the gay neighbour. 

but then the moral of that film was that no one is always an asshole and when a beautiful disgruntled woman comes along its goodbye asshole ways. hmm. but then she's already come and i think im more assholing so i guess i must be jesus cause i defy the system of entertainment. 

 so i had a time last evening, some good conversation. (thats twice in like a week, like so cule!!) yea well i think i have to go clean up gcs room ccause im keep making a mess in it.

to snow

im glad to see the little white men falling from the sky, at least, if they would accumulate in any sum of snow i would be really happy. but they try to tell me that its all the thought or what ever. well im thinking about snow, and i dont see it adding up.

okay so its time to unpack the exploits of the 12 bars of christmas. my rugby club annual pub crawl. first the laws: one, every woman must have and escort ( i had several but im special); two, you must have at least one drink at every bar (several if you're good...which i am); three, you must ware your 12 bars tshirt all night.

okay so as per law one, my first escort i didn't even realize what he was up too (i think he may have invented the first law) but then i slowly caught on and decided it was fine to have a between bar escort it would help ensure stability and making the correct connections. that was dom. he's lovely, we had some good chats and he prolly bought 5 of my drinks. The second was dean-o the would be med-student-nephew of demi's (mens ex coach). very not cool, low intellegence and he had his 'frat brother' along who was buying (3 for me...about a hundred for deano) To say the only things deano could say was (slurredly) im in medical school, this is my frat brother, your very pretty and the most special girl here... so he was acceptable. except when he had is frat brother carry me out of one bar while i was chatting with shadow and waiting for dom, because i was taking too long. but it was okay i set him straight at the next bar. then there was shadow, who was my in bar date towards the end of the evening. and omg what incredible conversations.

on the topic of drinks here was my itenerary:
Bar Bought by drink
1. Michelle - one well drink
2. Demi - one well drink
Me - one well (and one for michelle)
3. Mike Park - one well
4. Fife - one well
me - one well (and one for michelle
5. Michelle - one well
dom - mint shot
6. deano - well shot
7. dom -well
8. dom - jello shooter
deano - well drink
9. deano - well
10. Shadow - two r&cs
11. dom - Gin7
12. dom - well drink

all between 4:00pm and 2:00 am, and i wasn't shit drunk by the end, in fact i was still clear headed enough to go back to michelles for two more drinks, food and a good two hour conversation about religion and politics with shadow.

but i danced and was hit on by a good 10 man-strangers, all of whom had their hearts broken in various ways. anyway time to get on to other topics. such as ...

8:45

im still tired but im not sleeping any longer, there are too many other more interesting things to do. like read this atlas. i think i should talk about globes and world maps more often. as a map like journal? out of date as soon as its written? i dunno. so this is splot then where the thoughts can have complete sentences as opposed to when you are without ethnicity where continuity of thought is also a nonevent. 

 my plan for life. .: live for at least six years .;

 die at some point .l

 tell a thousand lies ;. 

invent a thousand truthes :. 

love all my love . do more sit ups than push ups on wednesday mornings so my elderest brother aparently has this yoga dvd he does each morning. only problem is, his morning starts around 4:00 pm.

 im going to go to havana lounge maybe and meet a stranger and fall in love. and trust there comes a second time, the story comes a second time. the bus. will wait and ill ride. okaay sorry about that outburst it was out of place. mm what else.

 i have to go work on some prezzies.

To miss jack

It is a tricky thing, because you have to be certain that he is really gone. 

And before that, ascertain that he was ever present. I'll see him soon and we will discuss. life, love and that mess. 

I don't know why people get offended when I tell them I love them or that they are the sort of person who walks into a room and everyone is at once in love with them. no one gets it. 

I'd like to be a robot in that sense. Imaginary and well not very useful. but I still love to many people all at once. like jacob. everyone is at once in love with jacob. 

thats how i am...i am jack's antipathy.