for love

you know what burns me out. i dont even think that it is/was television (though we still haven't replaced that magic box) i think it's living with someone who wants attention and to be entertained and existing near people who need stuff but dont give stuff too.

but not this time!! i'm so past this place. did i mention i had a revelation about masters or b ed next. yea. i think i may not do either. but im not going to say what i think i might do cause im not ready for people to look at me and say holy shit, really. like they tend to do.

so keep that in mind people. when i announce my direction. if i do, you have to still treat me with the same disregard that you always have.


you know i was reading my OAC writerscraft journal. did i ever grow up a lot in OAC. anyway, one evening Jack and Sam and I had a long conversation about what we each are. and Jack said im a purely physical being, she could never be sure that there is an emotional counterpart to me, cause she'd never met her. and that it must be lonely. wow. and ive been writing that for that past three years aving forgot completely that night. and when i read it it was like everything just clicked.

oh life