New Year's Resolution*

I'm just brilliant, it can't be helped.

So i have figured out my resolution for 2006. it totally rocks, i didn't think there was anything i could resolve to do that would actually help me out in a better way, then this brilliant resolution came along (and considering my track record with new year resolutions...and really given the general stigma around resolutions of this sort...or resolutions of any sort i take as an example the Treaty of Versaille). So my resolution is to start smoking. Hear me out! Hear me out, it's genius. So it really goes one of three ways. I start smoking and enjoy it, then come lent I have something to give up and i can party hardy for mardi gras and quit my new year resolution for the forty days (by which point i will have forgotten all about the sickening habit and have not only made and kept a new years resolution and a lent sacrifice but also i will be able to cross 'take up smoking' and 'quit smoking' from my list of things to do before i die). Or i will take it up and hate it and be miserable with my resolution (as the stigma wants us to be) so i will give up trying to keep my new year's resoltion and be all bummed and depressed about it till some gem of a human being says "Roo i love you just the same whether you can keep your new year's resolution or not." Or, the third thing that will happen, is just like every other new year's resolution ever made I will forget I made it before i even get a chance to not live up to, thus I can be like most people who make outlandish resolutions to improve the world and their lives, but unlike them i won't be disappointed when i don't live up to my resolution because it was to start smoking, which, if you let me be frank, is a very unrealistic plan for me anyway.

then you say, "ahh but Miss Maru what about lent now that you aren't going to live up to your resolution?" Oh my friend you are too clever even for the likes of me. but don't worry i have already thought of that. I will be so guilty that i was unable to live up to my resolution that i will lie and tell people that i have kept with my resolution and am a smoker, then probably by the time of fat tuesday you will all start to catch on and think im lying and that i am not a smoker at all, but then i will have the perfect cop out and say "nah, the jig is not up, i would never lie to you dear love, i have decided to give up smoking for lent." even though in reality i wont because i never will have taken it up in the first place, but you will all believe i had and be so proud of me for giving it up for the lenten celebrations.

and then you might say "ahh but you have revealed your whole plot to us already. so we will know it's all a lie" to which i will say, this is just a blog i have no obligation to tell any shade of truth on here.

but seriously im taking up cigarettes as my New Year's Resolution 2006!

;)





*previously published on my space http://spaces.msn.com/members/ethok7/