what a word. i was taking hits of it through my nose. sips and drips of just this. something else.
can i just write to you and it will be like talking to myself but for my own ego i will have a real audience. face down on the mattress. and then i can keep running from instigation, i can keep reacting and causing reaction and all will be fine.
oh can i just send you a hello. a smile. a trick.
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