scratch

i feel like blogging, but i dont know what to blog about. life isn't really lifing just now. its kind of boring. im not sick anymore which i pleasant. i wrote a rather good essay, well not good, well maybe good, but the process of writing it was very pleasant which is a little new. well not totally new, but pleasant nonetheless. but the weather is pretty boring, so i suppose that's not bringing any drama into my life. and im not having nightmares (thank goodness) so thats pretty average. i have lots to do, but not really any stress (it would be nice if there was a little stress).

i find this to be often true that its all or none with pressure. id just like a failing grade of pressure like 42% or maybe even 37% or i suppose 17% but that might not be enough, i think i only have like 17% right now. but whatever.

im writing again, so that is nice. i think i should start walking lady again, i miss her, and her mum. id like to start drinking again too, but not really, maybe just eating bar food and playing billiards. or board games. i bought some, but i refuse to open them, in case i start playing boardgames with myself to procrastinate (though i bet that would help raise the stress level)

okay im going to go do some work before this thing has its scheduled meltdown