me me me me

go on censor yourself and i'll just watch and laugh. god, conversation can be so bloody easy. how easy to say something without committing to anything. but anywya. im just writing to try and get over this terrible sudden habit of censoring myself or sensoring myself. hmmm i wonder if thats like a kind of self induced pain-killing. like psycologic tylenol, produced in the mind factories of the CNS. hmm thats nice i think ill take some more sensoring.

i think i have to move out. again.


ps santa, if you're reading this, i really want a laptop for christmas with 100 gb harddrive and at least a 1.7 Ghz processor and 512MB RAM (but 1 GB Ram is good too ;)

but a pair of cycling mits will do just fine. my digits are freezing!

Fuck i wish i had a place to sing. i want a piano to pound on and a choir to sing to and a company to run with. anyone want to come visiting. im so alone. do do do dodo do do im all by my self, except for olie, and i guess dani and michelle and tara and the rest of my writing ppl and perhaps nathan counts and maybe dom too, but i mean lets be honest. im pretty much on my own just now. id like someone to talk to. for more than the length of the follow conversation (which is all i say these days, and its almost like i have taken a vow of silence)

A: how you doing?
B: oh god, swamped
A: Tell my about it i have x y z a b c d e f and p q rst
B: yea that sux
A: well at least its almost xmas
B: yea what are you doing
A: insert something boring
B: yea me too...

fucker, my goodness this country sux!